After time in College

Today I changed my background of my computer to a picture of some the Thai kids from this summer. I miss my time in Thailand terribly, but amazing things have been happening in my life here.

I have struggled with my transition to college, and at times I thought I was losing sight of the person I wanted to be. It was so easy to get caught up in popularity and appearances.

In Thailand I was surrounded by a small group of people committed to searching for God's will in their lives. I had constant encouragement and spiritual accountability. Here at college, I am supposed to pursue worldly knowledge and prestige. At first in college I lost sight of any action God was making in my life and in my heart. Luckily he brought upon experiences (sorority recruitment, loneliness, loss of hopes) that broke me down. He broke me down and left me forgetful of the hope I had experienced in Thailand. My heart was unfulfilled and my life was numb to his glory. Thankfully, I decided to draw near to Him, to put any effort I had left for joy into his hands. And in his perfect timing he showed me that he is my portion forever.

Pslam 73:26 My heart and my flesh will fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I have learned and experienced that God does not despise a broken and contrite heart (Psalm 51:17). It would be natural to feel as if a depressed heart is wrong or bad. But to God, it is not sin or evil. It is a chance for him to be my strength,

2 Corinthians 12:9: Jesus said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

In short, Christ has captured my heart again in a new way and answered prayer through my relationships with the people around me. I have seen his work in the hearts of me and my friends.

I treasure my summer for everything I experienced because I can be educated, but without experience I never really learn life's lessons.

The world is broken and unfulfilling, we never live the way we are supposed to on this earth....

but there is hope for us yet....

There is Christ

He is our hope.

Thoughts-Debriefed

After being home for a few days I am struggling to process what to do with all I learned in Thailand. I want to do so much, but I feel limited. I am continuing to grow more in patience and perseverance. I am praying that I will not come to resent my life here, but hold on to the hope I found in Thailand. I truly appreciate my lovely home here in Georgia, but the majority of my life here revolves around myself. I am acknowledging my life for what it is and trying to filter it through what I have learned. The gospel in Thailand seemed urgent, something that mattered all the time. Our days revolved mostly around the church and spreading the word, and I came to learn how although it is mostly difficult, it is very fulfilling. The rewards I have been given from this summer are more valuable to me than anything the world could provide. God has poured His love into my life, and yet coming back home I find myself in a little bubble of comfort. Yet, He is faithful and knows the desires of my heart, and is opening my eyes to areas I could serve and be a light for Him. The question is, will I step up to the opportunities when God presents them? I pray that I will.

There is a mark on my heart now in the shape of Thailand, and I am not ready to let it heal. I have experienced, although not for the first time, the joy that Christianity brings through service. Although I have learned a lot about myself and what I want my relationship with God to look like, I treasure mostly that I experienced the reality of God and the Gospel in my time there. Christian values are for the most part ingrained in our culture in America, but to go to a different country and to see how much the Gospel is in direct contrast to what people believe and base their lives around is stunning.

My gospel story from the summer is how God opened the eyes to my human nature, to my sin, and showed me how useless I am in retrospect to eternity, but then fills my life with His presence and gives me freedom to be who I am yet gain meaning, beauty and joy in my life. I am excited to not be content with half-way Christianity anymore. It might be a slow process, but in the end I want to be “living life musically”. This idiom, from a sermon we listened to, means I want to pursue something that increases in value over time. Instant gratification, like downloading a song, is nothing compared to the enjoyment of playing violin for many years. The first time I picked a violin up, it was difficult and unfulfilling, but now I can play beautiful notes and those notes—when strung together, make up a beautiful song. I want to be able to live beautiful days, and when those days are strung together, I want to live a beautiful life.

Some very personal thoughts

As I sit on the ledge on my little balcony in Bangkok I look up to the clouds over the city and watch the lightening light up the sky over and over. There have been times on my trip when I feel I am doing nothing particularly useful, yet I enjoy little nuances so much. I love to praise God for the simplest of things. I praised him today for a delicious desert, music and the night sky. I wonder to myself what I am doing here and what more could I be doing, but all in all I am in the presence of my creator’s image—present amongst all the people here. I pray that God will let me see every person here and everywhere as a part of the full image of God. “What can I learn about God from each individual?” I ask myself such a question, but not often enough. I am blessed to have gotten to know my friend P’ Fon and see her heart. She has been a Christian for three years and has wisdom, love and joy that I feel as if I know little of. She lives in a little room with two other women that is smaller than my dorm room next year and they have no beds. Yet I complain about the size of UGA’s dorms and wonder where I’ll put all my clothes next year. I have been downtown and see women selling themselves, flaunting themselves all over men, but haven’t I done the same thing in various ways? Furthermore, I am a sinner. I have traded things in (i.e. my looks, grades, talents) in place of God. I sell my soul for a little sense of worth yet the only place I should put my value in is in Jesus Christ. Oh to look upon the prostitutes of Bangkok and see myself is a shocking experience. Yet in the midst of it all, I am filled with hope and joy because he has given me “one pure and holy passion—to know and follow hard after him”. I have been GIVEN such grace in my life, that there is so much I have taken advantage of and looked over. I haven’t even valued fellowship as much as I should. I have always gotten set in my idealist dreams of the way my life should be instead of thanking God for the way it is. Why not thank God for the bad things in life—ultimately, everything leads to good for those who believe (Romans 8:28). One of things I am most thankful for is for God’s faithfulness. He has been faithful to show me direction. I call, he answers. I seek, he shows me. I have been wondering for sometime how I can use any of the somewhat artistic talent that he has given me for his purposes. I felt like most of my talent was just glorifying myself but he has been faithful to show me that in my relationships with people, I can let his light shine through my art. I have been able to bring joy to street children, university students, church workers, and my friends. I am not a naturally outgoing person and whenever I have felt lost for Thai words I simply bring out my sketchbook to bridge the language barrier. I am so thankful that my drawings have helped me build relationships with the people here. Tonight I spent quality time with P’ Fon just working on art and talking. I spent time drawing my friend, Nike’s portrait who spends time with us almost everyday now. I also drew him a sketch of a trophy for playing so well during the soccer tournament and he carries it around with him (thank you to David for the idea). I’ve gone to the slum area and not been able to say anything that the kids understand, yet I am able to pull out my sketchbook and then they all want to be my friend. I have had a slight opportunity to teach art to some of the students at the campus who then have come to various church events (such as coffee house-what we call our time together). I have even connected to the kids on the short-term trip who came from Wisconsin by showing them my art. Even though I think I am no better than any artist, it has been an interesting way to connect to people on a basic human level. We speak different languages but can see the same things.
I am so thankful for God’s presence in my life, for sending his spirit to convict me, guide me, and fill me with peace.

You all should check out Stanton's blog, it's great: http://stantonthailand.blogspot.com

After some more time in Thailand

June 4th,
I have learned a lot of Thai today. Our friend Yu (or P-Yu) is giving our team Thai lessons while we are here. For example, if you say the sound P in front of someone’s name it is a sign of respect. I feel very blessed to be able to learn the Thai language. Just saying hello (Shwad-tii-Kha/Kharp) to the people here lights up their faces and makes them laugh. Well, they laugh at most everything because it is against their ways to ever show sadness, anger, etc. Notably, I learned how to say, “I don’t want meat please” in Thai but I seem to not be pronouncing the word (Nuar) for meat right.
Our group has been making our way around without too much directional instruction. I feel more comfortable now that certain places and streets look familiar and that I can find my way around.
I felt as if I have improved at playing badminton, and the boys on our team even won a game of soccer. The students here are very committed to their recreational sports, and I have never seen people play badminton so well. There are many ping-pong, basketball, and a large number of soccer players as well. They all like to see us around and help us learn the sports. I think mostly it is out of curiosity because we all stick out like a sore thumb.
I learned a new card game that the people here enjoy called slave. I enjoy learning the games the people like here. It is part of their culture to keep things fun and relaxed.

June 5th
Our team learned about the brand of handbags called “Napada”. It is a way for the women in the slums to earn money. We need more people to be willing to sell them in the states. Go to napadathailand.com for more information.
The church here focuses a lot of its ministry on involvement with the poor Mahattii slums. The kids have so much joy when we visit them, I only wish I could speak Thai in order to better communicate with them. However, it probably works toward good purpose for our team to not know Thai. Like with Badminton, the people are apt to help us when we show our weakness.
Jesus explains how hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of heaven, and that proverb holds true in New City Fellowship Church’s ministry. The poor here are not filling their void of want for fulfillment with material items, and are therefore keener to listen to what we have to say. The brokenness here is so real and deep. My team hopes to experience this brokenness in hopes to better understand the people, learn how to pray for them, and for ourselves to be humbled through the process.
One of our teammates, Stanton had to take some time to rest because he wasn’t feeling so well. I am thankful that whenever we need to, we have the option to rest and recuperate.
I am still enjoying the food here and today I had some very good macaroni that sort of tasted like home made spaghetti-os but much tastier. We also went over to the central mall district in Bangkok to eat and explore. There is a rollercoaster in the mall!

Immanuel- God is with us. Our King layed down his life for his people in the New Covenant.

Blessings,
Janet

First Few Days in Thailand!

Bangkok
Wow! After flights to Chicago, Tokyo, and lastly to Bangkok, I have travelled to Thailand safe and sound. Customs was no problem and none of our bags were lost!! Lyndsey (a fellow intern from Georgia) and I left at 8:00 AM May 31st and arrived after midnight on June 1st (Thai time).
After arriving in Thailand I managed to attain a very minimal amount of sleep. I would almost be exaggerating if I said I slept an hour. I am thankful that I used my first night to pray and listen to a sermon on my ipod. I was also able to realize how thankful I am for sleep in general.
Our first day (for me and my friend Lyndsey) was a day off from internship and our group (consisting of seven interns) along with a leader and a Thai friend (who speaks both English and Thai) went to downtown Bangkok. Our friend (Fon) was very welcoming and even lent me her shoulder to sleep on during the bus ride back to our apartments.
Bangkok is similar to any large city. Even in a country so far away, similar celebs (like Emma Watson from Harry Potter) are seen up on posters. The normality of the city life is offset by the Buddhist idol shrines located all over. We first went to visit a large temple that housed a reclining Buddha that would probably not fit into my house. Most Thais offer flower arrangements or their drinks (probably because it is so hot and humid) to the Buddha.
I went to some of the nicest McDonalds and Starbucks in the world, as well as an extremely fancy mall. We also saw much of the damage from the protests, which are now over. The oldest theatre in Bangkok was burnt as well as part of the mall. We also went to a very busy mall that was more like a bargain mall. The place was flooded with Thai women buying the latest fashions.
The heat and jet-lag was too much to bear so I ended up sleeping in Starbucks for over an hour. On the way back I also slept on the bus, but once we hopped on the Song-tow (a truck with two benches and a cover over the back) it started raining hard. We are about to enter rainy season so I am preparing myself for that.
On June 3rd, I went to King’s park across the street from our apartments with one of my roommates Emily (from Texas and attends Samford). It is a picturesque Asian park, complete with lily pads, Asian gazeboes, and swan boats. For a quick and easy breakfast we like to explore the diverse and entertaining food and drink of 7-11 quick mart. I bought soy milk (Vitamilk) for around 13 Baht (around 30 Baht=1 USD). I have really enjoyed trying different foods here. Going to the grocery store is very entertaining.
After enjoying our team time, we went to prayer time and orientation and the New City Fellowship Church in Ram 2 (the abbreviation for where we live). The church’s presence is a refreshing source of peace and joy. I can already see the Thai members’ love and compassion for the world and for Bangkok. On Sundays the church has around 80 to 90 attendees. The pastor, Dave, from Wisconsin has been part of developing this church for around 10 years.
After our meeting with Dave we went and toured more of the area (Ram 2) and went to the University near the church. Trey (our short term leader) wants us to be able to know our way around the area to help out the short term teams who will be coming in a couple weeks.
We enjoyed playing badminton (or trying to ) with the university students. We all became very sweaty (we are always sweaty here actually) and then had to go over to Dave’s house for a very nice time of food and fellowship. Four out of five of his kids attend the international school near their house to which they bicycle every morning. June 4th is their last day of school!
I am excited for our Thai lesson today and whatever else the day may hold! I am trusting in God and praying for new opportunities to help the people here in Thailand.
Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth And the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Swadd-tii-Kaa,
Janet

Almost two weeks away!

Wow! First-post, I wonder if anyone will read this...

As I sit here writing thank-you notes, I am wondering about what my summer holds. Between planning a graduation party, fundraising for Thailand, ap exams, organizing college requirements, and more I would be burnt out. Luckily, I am filled with a supernatural peace and joy through this whole process. I am currently at around $2,500 in fundraising with a little more than two weeks to go! Who knows what will happen!!